Here's what's going on now.

       I've now entered my second phase of treatment, it's called partial hospitalization program or PHP. The one I'm specifically going to is aimed at those with PTSD. I've been here a couple weeks no w and in starting to get difficult. We do these things that are called exposures that we are suppose to cause anxiety at varying intervals. We get a list on activities and then rank them between 0 to 7, 7 being most. So we start off in the 2 to 3 range and work up from there. I'm just now starting to get to there difficult stuff and having to read my trauma script. (A narrative about all the bad stuff that's happened.) It's been very difficult for me but we meet with our therapist every day so that helps. I have no clue how long I'll be here and I'm thankful for great friends who are letting me live with them so I can do this work. I have a tendency to try to do too much at one time, she calls it flooding so I'm basically guaranteed to have anxiety. I'm not very nice to myself,  I  need to learn how to pace myself and be kind.
      Please continue to pray for me as it is still an awfully difficult process and I still have a long way to go. A good thing though is that I've been able to start crying again and I'll post pictures of the art I've made so far. The first set is a guy under a blue blanket representing total desperation, then the next one is called despair to hope since it's a fetal and prayer position. The next one is called acceptance.

The next group and my animals the turtle because I was finally coming out of my shell. The bears because it's a mommy bear providing for my two boys.

 

               I'm open to questions if you have any, I know this is different experience.

Thanks for caring friends