How to help

     I was asked what would be helpful during this time from friends and family so this tries to address that.  I can only address what would help me specifically but this may have some helpful hint for others in your life that are dealing with depression or anxiety.
     One of the hardest things for me to do is reach out, ask for help or even talk to people. I isolate, I hide. At church I'm really good at holding up walls, because they won't sneak up behind me, I know they are there.

1. Say hi, say something about the weather, say anything really, just acknowledging my existence is helpful.

2. Call, text or email when you think of it.  I only leave my house when I HAVE to.  I like being around people but I'm too anxious to even go to the grocery store by myself.  I hope this gets better soon but for now I only go places when someone I know is going to be there.

3. Pray and if you find an encouraging verse send it along.

4. Ask before you touch or hug me. I know weird right, I would just rather not have a panic attack.         Right now I'm ok most of the time when I know it's coming but sometimes I'm not.

5.  Don't be afraid of tears.

Truth is meeting someone where they're at is the most helpful thing to do for anyone. When I'm not doing well like now I won't make contact with anyone, I'll wait till they come to me. Since I stand out on the perimeter I just watch as everyone lives their life never engaging just watching.  This then feeds the depression and the really bad thoughts that go with it.

Hope that helps, if not I'll try to answer any questions. I'm trying, and I'm learning. Please remember there isn't a quick fix and the struggle can last years.  Attached is a cartoon of what depression feels like to me, it is my attempt at helping a friend understand, maybe it will help you too.