Observations part 2

This is a second post on observations because if I put everything in one it'd be way too long.

The last workers that I didn't really talk about was the social workers.  They are the unsung workers on that floor. They are in and out talking to people and arranging appointments, finding places for people to live temporarily and getting people ready to go home.
Most people need them, they need a therapist and or psychiatrist and the appointments to be set up for them to be seen. They know people are more likely to go to an appointment that's already been set up then do that themselves. They also know of other resources and groups that target specific people. Anyways their knowledge of what's available in the area is extensive.
When I talked to the one I was assigned she was a bit confused.  I already have a psychiatrist, I already have a therapist, groups are not particularly a good thing for me right now, and I have a great group of supportive friends. So she looked at me and said why are you here? Hopefully to find some medicines that actually work for me.
The days are long even though there's a schedule that they stick to. Meals come close to the same time everyday and you have to tell the tech how much you ate. Ya they keep track of everything. Like if you showered, if you're sleeping, if you attend the group sessions, and what goal you set for the day.
Again, it's a hard place to be, and all the things that people that usually land there don't have I do have. I have friends and family that are supportive understanding and helpful. They watch the kids and make it possible to go to appointments and have play dates so we could talk in person. They also aren't afraid to talk about hard things. I can be real with them and say the ugly thoughts and lies that are going through my head and they don't dissapear, they stay the speak truth they fire back at me and I don't like it all the time but I do appreciate  it.
So being surrounded by people like that how do I still fall so far down, how do I land in the hospital? Good question, it means I'm really really really not doing well, not thinking straight and don't think I can live in the darkness and fear any anymore.